Preschoolers (3-5 years)

Gross motor skills use larger muscles in the body to help children perform basic movements such as walking, running, and jumping.

Fine motor skills involve the coordination of small muscles in the wrist, hand, fingers, and even toes. They help your preschooler interact with the world in more detail.

At three years old, your preschooler will learn to:

• put on some clothes by themself, like loose pants or a jacket
• draw shapes on paper after some instruction
• use a fork
• string artwork items together, like large beads or dried macaroni.

At four years old, your preschooler will learn to:

• hold a crayon or pencil between fingers and thumb (not a fist)
• pour items such as cereal or water, with adult supervision
• unbutton their own clothing
• catch a large ball more consistently.

Language skills involve the ability to communicate thoughts, feelings, and needs through spoken words. 

At three years old, your preschooler will learn to:

• asks “who,” “what,” “where,” or “why” questions, like “where is mummy or daddy?”
• say their first name when asked
• say what action is happening in a picture or book when asked, like “running,” “eating”, or “playing”
• talk well enough for others to understand them the majority of the time. 

At four years old, your preschooler will learn to:

• speak in sentences with four or more words
• talk about at least one thing that happened during their day, for example, “I played soccer”
• answer simple questions like “What is a crayon for?”
• say words from a familiar song, story, or rhyme.

Social and emotional skills refer to your child’s ability to positively interact with others as well as understand and manage emotions appropriately.

At three years old, your preschooler will learn to:

• calm their emotions within 10 minutes after you leave them, for example, at childcare drop-off
• notice other children and join them to play.

At four years old, your preschooler will learn to:

• change behaviour based on where they are, for example, at the playground or a place of worship
• want to be a “helper”
• play cooperatively with other children
• engage in imaginative play and pretend to be someone else, for example, a teacher, dog or superhero
• comfort children who are upset, injured, or sad
• ask to play with other children if they aren’t around.

Regression is when your child goes backwards in their development and may behave in a younger or needier way. 

Skill regression can occur at any age and may happen because children are in a new situation, such as attending preschool, or they may be preparing themselves to develop further. Some skill regression is common; however, if you have concerns, speak to your family doctor or paediatrician.

Developmental delays are likely to be identified at regular health check-ups with your family doctor. However, some services offer support in the year before primary school to give children the best chance to learn, grow and reach their full potential at school.

4-year developmental checks

A lot of children aren’t getting their routine four-year developmental checks to track how they are growing. Free four-year developmental checks are being offered to early childhood and care services to ensure your child is on the right track before they start school. The checks involve health professionals assessing your child’s language, social, cognitive, and movement skills, as well as how their physical bodies are growing. 

Vaccinations aren’t given at these checks. These checks won’t happen without your knowledge, as you need to consent to them. Ask your child’s preschool or long day care service to find out when the development checks are coming to your child's service.

If your child has already had their four-year checks through your family doctor, they do not need to have these checks done again at preschool.

Approximately 2 in 5 children are starting primary school with developmental difficulties.

Statewide Eyesight Preschooler Screening (StEPS) program

The StEPS program offers a free eye test for four-year-olds before they start school. Your child is unlikely to tell you they can’t see properly; therefore, a test is the best way to know how healthy their eyes are. Vision is essential to learning at school, therefore, it is crucial to understand your child’s eyesight to give them the best chance to thrive.
Most preschools or childcare centres will organise StEPS to attend their service. However, if your child isn’t enrolled in care or misses the screening, you can find your local clinic on the StEPS website.

The earlier vision problems are identified and treated, the better the outcome for your child.

Developmental delay is treated with early intervention. Early intervention means providing support early to help children "catch up". This includes therapy, support, education, and monitoring from professionals such as:

• occupational therapists 
• audiologists 
• physiotherapists 
• psychologists 
• speech pathologists 
• social workers. 

These professionals will help your child to develop the skills they need to thrive. Some children require less or no support as they get older due to early intervention. 

If you are concerned about the support for your child, talk to your doctor about the possibility of accessing support through the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS). The NDIS provides funding to assist children under six years old with developmental delays in accessing therapy and support for early intervention. 

Neurodivergence is when a child’s brain functions differently from the majority of people who are at a similar age and stage. People who are neurodivergent may see the world differently from others. This includes diagnoses such as Autism and ADHD.

If your child is neurodivergent and you haven't already, talk to your doctor about accessing support through the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS). The NDIS provides funding to assist children with neurodivergence to access therapy and support for early intervention as well as ongoing services. 

Your preschooler may understand that a friend is someone who is fun, enjoys similar activities, likes the same toys, or perhaps helps them. What children expect from a friend usually increases with age; therefore, your preschooler may call someone a friend more easily than an adult would. 

Friendships are important as they provide children with opportunities to: 

• communicate and relate to others 
• practice strategies to manage their feelings and emotions 
• learn how to win and lose appropriately
• practice overcoming disagreements or arguments with others 
• develop social skills such as empathy, patience and sharing 
• gain a sense of belonging
• grow their self-esteem.

By the age of three, children are interested in making friends and may be able to tell you who they consider to be their friend. Your child may know their friend’s name and look to see if they are at childcare or social events when they arrive. At this age, children may struggle to see other people's point of view.

By the age of four, your preschooler will likely be able to tell you who their friend are and who other peers or acquaintances are. A friend may be near them participating in the same activity or someone they regularly see at childcare. Your four-year-old may start to ask for playdates with a friend outside of seeing them at daycare settings.  

When supervising children, make sure you stay close by to ensure your child and their friends are safe and they can easily find you. As your preschooler doesn’t have well-developed social and communication skills, disagreements may arise. If they do, be patient and calm. As a parent or carer, you can:

• give children turns to share their side of the story so they can see the other child’s point of view
• help children identify their emotions 
• use opportunities to teach children what is fair in different situations
• teach children when and how to apologise and forgive if mistakes are made by others
• demonstrate good sportsmanship if games are competitive by shaking hands, saying “good game” or “well played” no matter the outcome.

Preschoolers have active imaginations, and therefore, it's common for them to have imaginary friends. For many children, pretending and imagining are a normal and healthy part of a child’s development. Imaginary friends can teach your child social skills such as empathy and allow them to express their creativity.

Imaginary friends may come in the form of another being who may or may not be visible, such as a pet, a superhero, or a stuffed toy. Children may have imaginary friends to: 

• solve a problem 
• explore different roles and relationships 
• provide them with support and comfort 
• have a sense of control 
• express how they are feeling, for example, if the imaginary friend is scared, your child may also be scared
• test how others, including parents, may react to new behaviours or situations.

If your child presents challenging behaviours because of their imaginary friend, such as withdrawing from social situations or blaming their new friend, you can set boundaries as a family. However, if the friend is causing troubling behaviours, is significantly upsetting your child, or you think it may be linked to a distressing event, discuss your concerns with the family doctor.

To assist your preschooler in meeting new people, you can:

• teach your child how to introduce themselves, including saying their name and asking for the other person’s name
• organise play dates with new people, such as a work colleague or an old friend who has children of a similar age
• build your child’s self-confidence and self-esteem by pointing out their good qualities to allow them to better appreciate themselves
• replace activities that exclude friends, such as watching TV or playing apps on a mobile phone, with activities that involve other children
• select toys for your child that are interactive and require others to participate to increase their desire to play with others
• teach your child how to be a good friend
• talk to your child’s preschool teacher to see if they can create opportunities for your child to play with someone who has similar interests
• place your child in organised activities that involve other children, such as dancing, to allow them to meet new people whilst also getting active.

You can support your child’s independence by giving them opportunities to make choices. Ask them questions about what they want to wear, where they want to sit, and what they want to play with. Try to stick to two or three options to reduce confusion. This helps children have a sense of power, builds their confidence, helps them learn to problem solve and teaches them cause and effect.

Rather than solving a problem for your child, give them time to figure out how to solve it. Children learn through trial and error and, therefore, may sometimes need reassurance from parents and carers to overcome challenges. Focus on your child’s effort rather than the outcome.

Giving your child more responsibility for self-care activities such as dressing themselves and some personal hygiene activities are great steps to teach your child how to look after their body and promote independence.

You can get children involved in routine tasks such as packing their lunchboxes, setting the dinner table, and mixing ingredients when preparing a meal. Stepping back at times and giving children opportunities to take on more responsibility in an age-appropriate way will help them learn how to do things for themselves. This can help improve multiple aspects of life, including getting organised and ready for school and social situations.

Encourage your child to explore through unstructured play and taking age-appropriate risks. Unstructured play is unplanned activities that result from removing rules or expectations from play. This gives children choices and allows them to get creative, solve problems, and explore new interests and skills.

Unstructured play can also be included in conventional sports practice to help modify games. 

See the CHANGE IT Principle for more information.

It is important to start toilet training when your child is ready. Your child may express their readiness to start toilet training in a variety of ways, including:

• starting to hold their private areas
• saying, “I am doing a wee”, or, “I am doing a poo”
• having regular times of the day when they poo
• having a dry nappy for two hours or more
• crossing their legs
• expressing that they don’t want to wear their nappy anymore
• showing interest in the toilet
• gaining more independence
• being able to follow one-part instructions
• being able to pull their pants up 
• being able to sit in one position for up to five minutes.

If your child is three years old and hasn’t shown any of the signs they are ready for toilet training, you can prepare them by:

• teaching your child words like wee, poo, wet, dry, and toilet to communicate their needs better when the time comes
• explaining and showing them what “needing to go the toilet” may look like
• familiarising them with sitting on a potty or toilet for two to three minutes at a time, even if they don’t necessarily go
• going to the toilet in front of your child and explaining what you are doing if you feel comfortable to do so
• ensuring your child has access to an age-appropriate place to go to the toilet. 

You may choose to get a potty that you can move around and make it easy to find for your child. You may also choose to get a special, smaller toilet seat that can be placed on top of the regular toilet seat. If getting a seat for the regular toilet, ensure your child can get up to sit on it safely. 

If possible, begin toilet training at a time when you will be home often with your child and there aren’t any big changes coming up. Your child will benefit from consistency. 

Make the potty or toilet easily accessible.

Boys can sit or stand when learning to wee. If standing, they will not have developed their aim yet or may not be tall enough to wee into the toilet yet. Be patient and guide them. To simplify toilet training, you can get them to sit down until they are comfortable and then progress to standing when ready. 

Get your child to wear easy-to-remove clothes. This will help you and your child quickly go to the toilet when they need to go and minimise accidents. Summer may be a useful time when clothes may be lighter and looser.

Learn and look out for your child’s toilet signals or cues, such as holding their pants, crossing their legs or being quiet. If your child says they need to go to the toilet, try to take them straight away. Young children are still developing their ability to “hold it” meaning there is not much time between when they tell you and when they will need to wee or poo.

When toilet training, check if your child needs to use the toilet often. Remind them before and during activities. Your child is often busy or excited by an activity, so may avoid going to the bathroom for fear of missing out. Try asking your child every two hours and before bed.

Accidents will happen. If your child doesn’t get to the toilet in time or creates a mess, reassure and comfort them as they are still learning to control their bowels and bladders. Not making a fuss about it will help your child be less anxious.

Praise your child for the positive steps they take and celebrate small wins along the way. This includes efforts and attempts for trying to go to the toilet. You may like to reward their success by letting them flush the toilet. Give your child no more than five minutes to “try” to go to the toilet. Any more, and they may think they are being punished.

Encourage your child to eat a healthy diet with fibre and drink lots of water to avoid getting constipated. Constipation can be upsetting or painful for your child, which could make toilet training more difficult.

Parents of preschoolers often worry about how much their child is eating or think that it isn’t enough. Preschoolers may refuse food or label it as “yuck”.  Do not force your child to eat, as this can reduce their natural ability to understand appetite, knowing when they are hungry and when they are full.

As a parent, you play a key role in offering your child the right food. Preschoolers will naturally self-regulate the amount of food they eat based on their needs. 

See Fussy eating for more information.

It can take up to 15 exposures for your child to accept a new food. Provide your child with daily exposure to the new food for up to two weeks to allow them time to become familiar with it.

You can teach your child about healthy eating by engaging in activities such as:

• growing, watering and harvesting produce from fruit and vegetable gardens
• reading books about healthy eating, such as The Hungry Caterpillar
• playing games about healthy eating, such as doing a blind taste test of fruit and vegetables
• cooking activities such as opening, mixing, pouring and cutting food.

These experiences allow children to explore and experiment with new and different foods. It can also enhance children’s literacy, familiarity and relationship with healthy food.

Tap water is recommended as the drink of choice and is essential for hydration. At this age, children may need to be reminded to drink water as they can be distracted, easily forget and not feel thirsty. 

Reduced-fat milk, not skim milk, can be given to children over two years old who have a good appetite and are growing within the normal development ranges. 

Whole fruit is always the best option for fruit consumption but if your child would like fruit juice, the recommendations are to limit it to one small glass (125mL) of 99% fruit juice per day.

See the Dehydration factsheet for more information.

Preschoolers have immature immune systems, which makes them vulnerable to getting sick more often. Your child is frequently interacting with new environments and different people such as childcare, public playgrounds, and libraries. As a result, your preschooler comes into contact with new germs and bacteria that can easily spread and make them sick. Good hand hygiene and handwashing can prevent many infections. 

See the Hand hygiene factsheet for more information.

Bathing your preschooler helps keep them clean and hygienic with two to three times per week being a sufficient amount. However, you and your child may like to have baths more often as part of a bedtime routine, water play, or bonding experience. It is important to ensure that you clean your preschooler's face and genitals daily. Here are some tips on bathing your preschooler:

• use a gentle cleanser instead of harsh soaps to avoid drying out or irritating your child’s skin
• wash your child’s hair about once or twice a week or when it is visibly dirty, oily, or they are more active than usual
• try to avoid products like bubble baths for as long as possible, as these can increase the risk of Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) in some children
• for girls, wipe your child’s vulva from front to back with water to reduce the risk of infections - it isn’t necessary to use any soap or cleanser as the vagina cleans itself
• for boys, wash the penis and scrotum as normal; including under the foreskin. Don’t try to forcibly retract the foreskin, as it may cause pain, scarring, bleeding or infection
• as your child gets older, you can give them more independence with cleaning and self-care activities
• if you have difficulty getting your child in and then out of the bath, try giving them time cues or warnings and making bath time fun
• gently dry your child completely before getting dressed to avoid rashes.

It is important that you always stay within arms’ reach of your child in the bath and encourage your child to sit in the bath to avoid slips and falls. Primary carers need to understand the major risks when your child is near a bath, including drowning and hot scalds. 

All babies and children under the age of 8 years old must be supervised in even the smallest amount of water. Children can drown quickly, quietly and in just a few centimetres of water.

See Water safety – Bath time for more safety tips.

At this age, your preschooler is likely to know the names of many body parts, like their eyes, nose, arms, and legs. Being curious about private parts and asking questions is a normal part of a child’s development. It’s also normal for children to touch their private parts as a self-soothing strategy when they are anxious or because it feels good. 

You can help your preschooler learn more about their private parts by teaching your child:

• the correct names of their body parts, including all private parts
• the differences between male and female bodies
• the difference between private and public body part
• how different body parts function.

You can also teach preschoolers the difference between a secret and a surprise and help them understand their private body parts. 

Often, children enjoy brushing because they are learning a new skill and copying adults. Introducing healthy dental habits from a young age teaches your child how to care for their teeth throughout their life. It is important to make it fun so they can develop a positive relationship with good dental hygiene. You can try the following when your child is brushing their teeth:

• playing a song
• brushing as a family
• singing a song
• using a timer
• involving your child’s toys.

Your child’s baby teeth are important, and they need your help to look after them to keep them healthy. Below are some tips on how to look after your child's teeth:

• brush your child’s teeth:
  • with a small, pea-sized amount of low-fluoride toothpaste
  • with a small toothbrush that has soft bristles 
  • twice a day, such as morning and night to help set a good routine
• book regular dental check-ups every 6-12 months
• teach your child to spit out toothpaste instead of swallowing
• don’t rinse with water after brushing, as the fluoride from the toothpaste is working to protect your child’s teeth
• don’t forget to brush your child’s tongue too
• when your child has two teeth next to each other, around two years of age, flossing daily is recommended 
• help your child brush and floss until they are around eight years of age
• lift their lip to check for signs of tooth decay once a month 
• offer your preschooler healthy snacks such as fresh fruit and vegetables, cheese, and plain yoghurt
• don’t share cutlery or utensils. Cleaning items they put in their mouth with your saliva is also not advised, as these actions can pass bacteria and germs leading to tooth decay in your child’s mouth.

See the Teeth and gum care factsheet for more information.

• Diphtheria
• Tetanus (lockjaw)
• Whooping cough (pertussis)
• Poliomyelitis (polio).

Protection for the above four diseases is generally provided in a combined DTPa/IPV vaccination.

In addition to the above 4-year-old vaccinations, it is also recommended that your child is vaccinated against influenza, more commonly known as the flu, every year. Getting the flu vaccine each year protects your child from the types of flu expected to be the most common that season. 

See the Influenza factsheet for more information.

Children aged 6 months to <5 years are eligible for a free influenza (flu) vaccination every year*.

*Some providers may charge an administration or consultation fee.