The point of diagnosis as a critical time. 

Every parent is different, but parents commonly go through a process of adjustment to the diagnosis. This process of adjustment often resembles a grieving process.

Grieving is a natural response to a significant loss. The loss associated with a diagnosis of epilepsy centres around the loss of a parent’s hopes and wishes for a healthy child. The emotions that parents feel when a diagnosis is confirmed are a normal part of the healing process.

There is no right or wrong way to feel. You cannot make yourself stop feeling what you are feeling. Trying to stop those feelings or burying them can be very unhelpful and harmful. What is important is to have a healthy way of dealing with your feelings.

Common reactions: 

• It is common to feel shocked, sad, angry, guilty, confused and scared. Parents sometimes feel that a mistake has been made in the diagnosis or they may deny the diagnosis completely. They may blame themselves – especially if there is an underlying genetic explanation for the child’s condition. 
• Parents’ responses can be affected by the way epilepsy affects their lives – for instance, the severity of the epilepsy and extent of disability, the effect on family and social life, impact on work and financial security, and so on. 
• Generally, the greater the impact of epilepsy, real or perceived, the more complex the emotional response. Again, there is no right or wrong way to feel.