Taking care of yourself

As a parent of a child with epilepsy it is as important to take care of your own physical and emotional wellbeing, as it is to care for your child.

Investing in your health will also allow you to provide quality care for your child with epilepsy. It will provide good role modeling for your other children and have a flow-on effect for the whole family. Children are very perceptive and sensitive to stresses within a family, and they learn how to cope by watching their parents.

Parents need to have enough energy and mental clarity to provide care and make informed choices for their children. Yet, making time to take care of oneself is often a low priority for parents.

Self-care is essential for the long-term healthy functioning of the family and should be incorporated into the family’s routine.

Self-care tips

  • Eat a healthy diet
  • Exercise regularly
  • Get enough sleep and rest
  • Use respite options
  • Connect with other parents in a similar situation to reduce isolation
  • Make time to spend with friends.
  • Make time to spend with your partner and nurture your relationship
  • Ask for help when needed
  • Inform yourself of potential supports and utilise them - e.g. disability services, home support, family support, counselling, financial assistance, etc.
  • Utilise your child’s health team - e.g. Doctor, nurse, social worker, psychologist, etc.
  • Seek professional assistance when needed - your GP or child’s health care team can assist to connect you to the appropriate service.

Dealing with emotions

Remember that your feelings are normal; the way you are feeling is simply the way you are feeling. 

It is important, however, to find a healthy way of dealing with your own emotions. This will help you to deal with the challenges ahead, including the emotions of others such as your child and family.

Tips for dealing with emotions

  • Accept your feelings and be honest about them
  • Accept that your partner may be feeling differently
  • Take each day as it comes - try not to project too far into the future
  • Allow yourself time to grieve - remember that your feelings may surface at different times
  • Talk to someone you trust - do not bottle up your feelings
  • Choose who to tell and when to tell them about your child’s diagnosis - the timing has to be right for you and for your family
  • Focus on looking after yourself and your immediate family - do not try to be everything to everybody
  • Seek current, correct information about your child’s condition 
  • Do not be afraid to ask your Doctor/health team questions
  • Write questions down as they come to mind so that you do not forget to ask them when you have the opportunity
  • Do not try to take in too much information in the beginning - focus only on the essentials
  • Use the internet with care - always discuss what you have read on the internet with your child’s doctor
  • Link in with parent organisations 
  • Maintain family routines as much as possible 
  • Build and utilise your support - do not try to cope by yourself
  • Focus on the positives and enjoy your child - acknowledge and celebrate achievements
  • Seek professional help if you are finding it hard to cope with your emotions - e.g. GP, psychologist, or social worker.