Sleep away from home (sleep overs)
Sleeping away from home refers to any time your child is away from the house for the night, sleeping over at a trusted person’s house or at a school or recreation camp. It can be intentional with prior planning, for example, a school friend’s sleepover or a last-minute necessity, for example, if there is an emergency or you need to work away from home for a night or two.
What is the right age for a sleepover?
When to have a sleepover is completely a family decision. Your child’s development, emotional intelligence, and interests will help guide you as a parent in seeing if they are ready for a sleepover.
You want to be sure that they have the confidence to reach out for help or raise any concerns while away from home. This may be around 8 years of age for your child, but all children are unique in their development. Sleepovers at Grandparents', Aunties or Uncles' houses may occur earlier, as they are usually trusted family.
Preparing your child for a sleepover with friends or family can prove to be an exciting and anxious time for you and your child. The more prepared you can be before the sleepover, the more information you know about the home and family looking after your child and the more reassurance you can give your child will all help ease the process.
Tips to help you prepare for your child to sleep away from home.
Inform other caregivers of any bedtime routines and sleep schedules
To reduce the amount of disturbances your child will have during a sleepover, aim to keep their bedtime routine as close to home as possible. This may mean packing certain toys, nightlights or books and being clear about bedtime itself.
Inform other caregivers of any sleep disorders, behaviours or disturbances
Preparing the caregiver but giving them as much information about your child’s behaviour or condition can help all people involved, for example, if you child sleepwalks, explaining common behaviours. See Sleepwalking for more information.
Discuss with the caregiver
Where possible, discuss your plans for a sleepover well in advance. Although there may be some vulnerability or awkwardness, always ask questions or concerns, for example, how secure the location will be. This will help align expectations while your child is in their care. Most schools, sports, and recreation clubs are quite organised and will provide parents with information well in advance of any trips away with their children.
Know the plans
Give yourself peace of mind by knowing the rough plan of what your child and their friends will be doing. If this is a movie, ask about the suitability or ratings of the one they will be watching.
Understand the context and environment
It always helps if you are well acquainted with the caregivers and the house or location your child will be sleeping. Know how many adult supervisors there will be present, how close a friend your child is with the other party and what kind of security measures may be in place.
Run through scenarios with your child
Prepare your child for what they may experience at the new location. This could be asking what they would do if they woke up in the night scared or if they had a question they wanted to raise. This will help ease any separation anxiety or worry.
Stay in contact
Let your child know how they can contact you. This can be in the form of a mobile phone or by asking a trusted adult whilst they are away from the home.
There will always be risk in anything your child does and having sleepovers is no different. It is about being prepared and mitigating any risk where possible to create positive experiences for your family.
Sleepovers help your child create more independence, more experiences and a stronger connection with some of their friends. There are many benefits to being open to your child sleeping away from home under a trusted adult’s supervision.