Bullying

Bullying is considered to be intentional, repeated aggressive behaviour toward someone. 

It is where an individual or group threaten, harm or control someone to cause harm or distress. Bullying can take many forms and may include a combination of the following: 

Verbal bullying

Using words to make someone feel upset, anxious or embarrassed.

Physical bullying

The use of physical action or threats to gain perceived control over someone. This includes hitting, kicking and pushing.

Social bullying

This is a more manipulative form of bullying where rumours may be spread about a person, tricks being played on them at their expense or intentionally leaving them out.

Cyberbullying

The use of electronic communication to bully a person, usually intimidating or threatening through messenger apps or social media platforms.

Children's and young adult’s behaviours are often motivated by a combination of biological, psychological and social needs. Often kids bully to feel in more control or have a heightened sense of popularity or importance. 

Bullying can come with some unintended consequences, including poor self-esteem, reduction in school grades, impact on a child’s social life, acting out or displaying antisocial behaviour.  

Some children may choose to talk to you about being bullied, others may hide it, or some might be ashamed. Whichever way your child reacts, it is important to take it seriously.

Understanding if behaviour is considered bullying

Behaviour that is considered bullying is:  

  • aggressive
  • intentional
  • repeated 
  • relying on a power imbalance.

Behaviour that is not considered bullying includes: 

  • a disagreement with friends
  • an argument or conflict
  • someone being mean or rude
  • another child implementing their personal boundaries.

If you suspect your child is being bullied, the following tips will help guide you through the next steps.

Listen and support

Your child may not be open and truthful in their first discussion about bullying. They may believe that bringing it up to you or teachers at school, it will make the situation worse. Encourage your child to open up about their concerns.

Stay calm and positive

Try to find as much of the information as you can before taking action. The more you know, the more smoothly the next conversations will be with anyone else involved.

Reach out to your child’s school or organisation

Implementing a coordinated approach between the home, the school or any sporting/recreational organisations will help keep transparency on the concerns. 

Ask about anti-bullying policies

If bullying is happening in your child’s school, have an open discussion with your child’s teacher or Principal. It is unlikely this would be the first incident of bullying at any given school. Schools implement anti-bullying policies to protect children while learning. Leave any disciplinary action for the bullying child to the school themself.

Discuss personal boundaries

Encourage your child to firmly say no to something they do not like and act confidently and resiliently when someone is bullying them. Practice some strategies at home like giving quick responses to a bully. Do not engage in fighting, bullying back or ignoring it completely.

Seek further help for your child

If you need further support, reach out to the school counsellor or healthcare professional to help deal with any negative consequences of bullying.

Be patient

Overcoming bullying can be a tough time for children and their families. Remind your child you are always there to support them and that you can work through anything together.

If you suspect your child is engaging in bullying behaviour, the following tips should help guide you through the next steps. 

Take it seriously

Acknowledge the situation for what it is, take time to process the information you are given (from whoever it may be) and manage your reactions.

Talk to your child

Have an open, non-judgmental, non-confrontational discussion with your child about their understanding of events. Understand if this is a pattern of bullying with a specific child or group. Let your child know that bullying is not acceptable and that it must stop due to potential consequences to them and others.

Reach out to your child’s school or organisation

Implementing a coordinated approach between the home, the school or any sporting/recreational organisations will help keep transparency on the concerns. Understand if your child is facing any difficulties in their schooling such as social isolation, being bullied themselves or school work stress.

Encourage conflict resolution

Discuss non-hurtful ways of expressing their feelings towards others, their roles and responsibilities with personal boundaries and their own time if they are overwhelmed by emotion.

Encourage positive expression

Some children may be constantly active and looking for things to do at school or at home. Find activities where your child can express their movement or creativity in a positive way such as walking the dog after school or getting equipment ready for sports or academic classes.

Be patient

Your child will continue to learn how to express their emotions as they get older. The more you foster this, show interest and concern, the more likely they will display pro-social behaviour