Starting conversations about mental health
Talking to your child about their mental health may seem a difficult task but it is a critical aspect of raising children.
Know that you can start a conversation as gently as you need to in order to help you and your child feel comfortable and open up to the idea. You also have the support of family, friends and trained mental health professionals so don’t feel like you need to have these conversations alone.
There is no magic way to start a conversation about mental health with your child. Start with questions like:
- ‘How are you feeling about (a sports match/exams/school)?’
- ‘It seems like you haven’t been yourself lately; how are things?’
- ‘It’s OK if you don’t want to talk right now but know I’m here for you when you’re ready and we can work it out together.’
Regular conversations with your child will not only help you understand where their mental health may be, it will also give them a guide to arrange their emotions based on their experiences and relationships. Starting these conversations from an early age, when they are learning their emotions and responses to them allows for ongoing conversations as they develop.
Keep these tips in mind to help guide your conversations.
Keep the discussion open
Having frequent conversations with your child about their mental health early in their life can help them remove any stigma associated with asking for help. If it isn’t an emergency and they are not ready to chat, that’s OK; come back to the conversation when they may be ready in the coming days.
Create a supportive and safe environment
Family and the home are safe spaces for children. Create a positive mental health environment by acknowledging their feelings, listening to concerns, providing engaging and fun activities and praising your child’s efforts and strengths. As a parent, you want to be available but not intrusive.
Choose an appropriate time, space and place
As a parent, you can choose when to raise any mental health concerns with your child and check in if they feel comfortable too. This could be in the home, out on a walk or a drive. Any time for your child and you to feel comfortable on the topic.
Manage your own feelings and response
Having big emotional responses to your child’s conversations, regardless of the topic, creates a reluctance to open up about their mental health. Practice responding calmly to your child’s conversations, even though sometimes it can be upsetting or create anger. See Mental Health in Australia for more tips on coping strategies and support.
Acknowledge emotions and feelings are a part of life
Emotions are a natural part of being human. Mental health is ever changing and moves back and forth along a continuum, from feeling terrible to feeling amazing. Let your child know that it’s OK to feel down, lonely or sad sometimes. When the continuum stays in a low phase for a significant amount of time, it creates cause for concern. Asking whether they are doing OK, are struggling, are unwell or are in crisis can help categorise where your child’s mental health state is.
Empower your child to understand their different moods
From a young age, you can help your child identify the emotions they are feeling. When they can name and recognise their emotions, they are better equipped to deal with them and respond appropriately. As they age, these emotions can be better defined as they become more nuanced. Understanding the cause and impact of emotions is always something children and young adults can work on. See Emerging topics for more information on Emotional Intelligence (EQ).
Remember, you are your child’s parent; you don’t have to be an expert on all related topics. See below for more resources to stay informed.
Feel free to give yourself time, step away and let your child know you will chat with them further when you’ve found the right information for their question.