Conversations about risk-taking by age

Conversations as your child develops

When discussing risky behaviours, be clear, calm, and specific. Children may ask more questions as they try to make sense of the world around them, so keep the conversation open and age-appropriate.

Modelling positive behaviour

Children learn not only from what you say but also from what you do. Observing adult role models engaging in behaviours, they’ve been told not to can be confusing. 

Be mindful of your actions and ensure they reflect the values you want to instil in your child.

Around 4-years old

Children can encounter risky behaviours, like drugs and alcohol, earlier than expected, often through:

  • adults drinking or smoking at parties
  • media exposure
  • prescription or non-prescription medications at home.

It’s important to talk about medication safety early. Explain that medications should only be used with adult supervision and keep them out of reach. Visit Medication Safety for more information. 

Around 8-years old

Around this age, children may start sharing their thoughts on risky behaviours like drinking, violence, or dangerous driving. They might see examples on TV, in movies, or real life.

Having open, honest discussions helps reduce stigma and encourages honesty. If they don’t seem ready to talk about certain topics, like alcohol or violence, let them know you’re available whenever they feel ready to ask questions.

Around 12-years old

Around this age, most children are ready for more in-depth discussions about the consequences of risky behaviours and how they can affect different parts of their lives. Experts recommend discussing the dangers of vaping by age 12 to prevent early exposure.

Some key topics and examples to focus on include:

  • Health and Safety: Discuss the responsibility of growing older and having new freedoms, like driving (16+) or legally drinking alcohol (18+). While driving can increase independence, dangerous driving or driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs can have serious, even life-threatening consequences for themselves and others.
     
  • The law: Discuss rights, responsibilities, and the legal consequences of risky behaviours with experimenting with alcohol and drugs or getting a driver’s licence. This can include fines, imprisonment and a criminal record.
     
  • Relationships and boundaries: Talk early and often about healthy relationships, sexuality, and body boundaries to help them navigate consent and puberty.
     
  • Emerging topics: Stay informed about current trends like vaping, online communities and tanning. Understanding current trends will help you have informed and relevant conversations with your child while showing them you care about their interests and what is affecting them.
     
  • Finding Accurate Information: With easy access to the internet, it’s essential that children and teenagers know where to find reliable and accurate information. Discuss the importance of seeking out trusted sources, especially as they will encounter misleading, biased or confusing information online and on social media.

Language matters

When discussing risky behaviours with children, it is important to use age-appropriate, clear, and factual language. Avoid exaggerations, vague terms, or slang that could lead to misunderstandings.

For example:

  • referring to MDMA as “pills”
  • referring to alcohol as “booze” or by specific brand names like “Cruiser”
  • calling a penis a “doodle”.

Using the correct terms empowers children with accurate information and helps prevent sensitive topics from becoming taboo.